I used to work with the Mob. Ok, well, not THE Mob but it sure felt like it. This place had all the components typical of the Mob: manipulation, corruption, deception, financial fudging, favoritism for the selected few, even a Godfather. There was no Italian restaurant as the cover but there may as well have been.
At the time, I was furious and frustrated. I wanted the perpetrators to pay. I wanted the winds of justice to sweep through that place and wipe out The Corrupted Family. I wanted Noah’s Ark present day. And I wanted to be Noah. And truth be told, on my worst days, I still want that done at that place.
And then some time passed and I got a little older. And thank God, a little bit wiser. And really, the Lord began to show me that my ideas of justice are not always what He has in mind. And my demands for social accountability do not often coincide with His perfect way of working in the hearts and lives of others. And I could drive myself mad if I continued to expect that He right all the wrongs in the way that I thought He should do it. And to whom I thought it needed done. Those demands of my Redeemer took too much of my time. Too much of my soul.
And so I’ve learned to let go…a little bit. I’ve learned that I can’t change hearts. I can’t make people do good to others. I can’t expose all their wrongdoing. (In some cases, I believe this should happen but in my case, this was impossible.) I can’t force the Mafia to make choices that reveal a deep love for our Creator, their Creator.
And you know what else? I can’t even change myself. My own little wicked heart eats enough of my time without my having to fix the hearts of the Mob. So, instead of pushing to right all the wrong done, I’m stepping back and asking God to keep changing my heart. I’m asking Him for supernatural strength to love my enemies, for hope in the midst of all the unfairness, and to keep trusting that one day all will be made right. And I’m guessing, it will have little to do with me.