coffeeandcampfires

Waiting

Some of you have been asking me about why I haven’t posted in awhile.  Thanks for caring enough to ask.  I appreciate that.  I must tell you that it’s been a whirlwind summer and I simply haven’t had enough time to mentally and emotionally process life.  And I need to do that in order to write coherently.  So, here’s hoping that this post isn’t just a bunch of rambling.

7 months ago, we began praying specifically about adoption.

5 months ago, we chose an agency.

3 months ago, we had our home visit.

2 months ago, we finished our grant applications.

There is nothing more for us to do besides…wait.

So, we are…waiting.  Waiting for God to bring us our baby.  Waiting on His perfect timing.  His timing is perfect, right?  RIGHT?!  Sometimes I wonder.

A few nights ago, the four of us (my husband, me, and our two kiddos)  were on our way home from a refreshing evening spent with friends.  As we turned on to our camp road, the mile-long stretch of gravel and potholes that leads us home, we cranked up the song, “I Will Wait”, by Mumford & Sons.  With windows down, volume amped, neck veins bulging, and the night air in our lungs, we belted out as loud as possible, “I WILL WAIT, I WILL WAIT FOR YOU!  I WILL WAIT, I WILL WAIT FOR YOU!”

Somewhere in all our yelling, er singing, and eventual laughter, my voice caught in my throat.  I had to stifle a cry because here we were, my three favorite people in the whole wide world, shouting out in unison: WE WILL WAIT.  We will wait for our baby.  We will wait for our sibling.  We will wait for God to bring this little soul to our home.  Even when our arms ache to hold our sweet bundle.  Even when we imagine the cooing and giggling and smiling.  Even when we want to set up the pack-n-play and begin this journey as a family of five.  Yes, Lord, even in those vivid moments of yearning, we will wait for You.

Now, in this particular case, we really have no choice but to wait.  We do however, have a choice in how we wait.  This makes me cranky sometimes.  If you could hear my thoughts in those moments, you may notice that they carry a hint of whine:  “I’m tired of waiting!  Can’t You just give us a baby already?  What is taking so long?!  Come on, we’re trying to provide a home for a child in need of one.  How difficult is that, people?”

Our family jam session reminded me that if I can’t authentically live those three important words, then maybe I shouldn’t be singing them.  You see, I really don’t want to wait.  I’m weary of waiting.  And in adoption time, we’ve waited for like 2 minutes, maybe.  We might even have another year or more of waiting (GOD.HELP.ME.)  But as I seek the Truth, I find that God is more concerned with my heart while I wait.  So, I am asking for His supernatural strength and patience and peace to wait well.  To wait with gratitude.  To wait with great hope in Him.  And to wait, believing that my loving Savior cares enough about my heart to bring us the perfect-for-us little bundle in His perfect time, not mine.

If you’d like to share what you’re waiting for in this season of life, I’d like to hear it!

By the way, if you want to catch Mumford & Sons’ Saturday Night Live performance of “I Will Wait”, you can check it out here:   http://youtu.be/S5t7B-ia8Y0.  Please know that I do not necessarily approve of all YouTube advertisements.

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9 thoughts on “Waiting

  1. pamela jablonski on said:

    Oh, Katie! You will be in my prayers as you wait! I am so excited for you-I kind of feel like you are living out what I dreamed of doing. Now I feel old and tired, and dealing with a chronic pain illness, I just don’t think I can be a mom to small children again. But I can pray and love others’ kids, and I do. I am sending a virtual hug to you-hope you can feel it!

    • Thank you for your words of support, encouragement, and prayers, Pam. I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling with chronic pain. I hope that you are able to get some relief and rest, despite that kind of suffering. You are an inspiring example of a mother, full of grace & peace, gentle responses, and a deep love for your children (from observations I made years ago 🙂 ). I hope that you can meet our little one when the time comes-we will do our best to make that happen! I have received your virtual hug and am sending one along to you, as well. Miss you!

      • pamela jablonski on said:

        You are too sweet! I have many good as well as many bad days, I was better in Africa, and I think I may try the whole unprocessed foods route and no dairy here to see if it helps. I would be SO happy to meet your precious gift! Thank you for YOUR kind words as well! 🙂 Blessings!

  2. Jess on said:

    waiting is no fun but I know God will teach you so much during this time. Praying for you and excited for all the joy that awaits you! Love you!

    • Thanks, Jess! I appreciate your prayers and shared excitement. And I can’t wait for our September race! And who knows? Maybe you’ll get to meet #3 by then 🙂 Hugs to you, my dear friend.

  3. Katie, you don’t know me, but I was on staff with your husband at Hebron and kept in contact with him while we were both living up in Michigan too. I heard you guys were adopting from his facebook page and was so excited for the news! We also are adopting a little girl from Haiti. We are 2 years and 1 month into our “wait”. Yes, my dear, it is a long, hard wait no matter if you are at day 2 or day 761ish like we are, but know that along the road, Jesus is faithful in walking the road with you. He is always there and willing to listen to your rants, your tears, your pain, your joy, your celebrations, and your deep, deep desires. I’m not sure it matters much how you actually “do” your wait time so long as you spend that wait time in His arms, doing it WITH Him. He has much love and grace for us all. Praying for your baby to be in your arms before you know it–whether that is in literal time or in just in your Mama heart.

    Blessings,
    Angie Thieszen

    • Angie,
      Thank you for your kind words. Your willingness to wait as long as you have is an inspiration to our family! And a testimony to God’s work of grace which enables to have waited now for 761ish days. WOW. I am challenged to be praying specifically for you and your family-that this precious Haitian girl will be able to join you very soon. May you continue to hold on with great hope in the One who has led you thus far. Perhaps God will allow us the gift of meeting in person sometime. Even better-with our new additions! Fair warning: I might burst into sobs.

  4. Maddie on said:

    You know Katie, sometimes you write things because you need to process them, but other people need so badly to hear them…thanks for listening to the Lord’s prompting and writing this. I needed to hear it.

    • I’m so glad that God uses timely words to spur us on. Your kindness and gestures have lifted my spirits, too. I’m grateful to walk this journey with you, Maddie, even if the miles separate us.

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