At the end of every year, I take stock of the previous twelve months and then wonder whether I should compile a list of resolutions (I prefer “goals” but whatever…). Resolutions usually seem like a great idea, what with all the steps toward self-improvement and such. I mean, who doesn’t want to look better or be better? But to be honest, I’m weary of that kind of pressure, internal or otherwise. Of course I want to look better and be better but then I think of what that will require of me and I burn calories just thinking about it. My heart starts to pound, my anxiety increases, and I wonder how I can add another item to my already growing to-do list.
So, this year I made a small, manageable list of specifics, affectionately dubbed “The List”, that I’d like to accomplish in 2014. Will I be challenged by The List? Sure. Am I overwhelmed by The List? Nope. I’m actually looking forward to most items. Seriously, some of them are really fun. For instance, #11: “Spend a day in NYC with the kiddos”. Have you met my kids? They. Are. Hilarious. And a day in NYC will most definitely be one hysterical adventure. I can’t wait! Will I be a better person/wife/mother if I complete The List? Perhaps. Will I be more healthy by checking things off The List? Maybe. Believe me, I’d like to see fewer dimples on the ol’ saddlebags but that’s another matter.
The List aside, do you know what I really want in 2014?
I want to know more deeply the immeasurable love of God.
I want to consistently rest in His promises.
I want to trust wholeheartedly in His faithfulness.
I want to keep hoping that God will give our family the desire of our hearts: to adopt a baby with Down syndrome.
But how do I “do” these: knowing, resting, trusting, and hoping? How can I more deeply know the immeasurable love of God? What does that look like in my daily routine?
These 2014 desires are hard to put into a to-do list. And that’s not what I want anyway. I don’t want more tasks. But I’m also a practical person and I prefer some sort of method by which I can measure my growth.
So, I’ve decided to turn these 4 simple desires into questions to ask myself weekly or monthly. It’s not a perfect system but I’m done with trying to be perfect. And I’m done with systems. I’m ready to engage more intimately with my Savior and to spend time resting in His character. I hope these questions will help me to “do” that better.
How about you? Do you make a list of resolutions or goals? I’d like to hear your thoughts.